Sunday, September 14, 2025
Conflict Resolution
I. THE MATTHEW 18 MODEL – BIBLICAL STEPS FOR ADDRESSING CONFLICT
Matthew 18:15-20 (NLT) – “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
Step One: Go Privately (v. 15)
Step Two: Take Witnesses (v. 16)
Step Three: Tell It to the Church (v. 17a)
Step Four: Treat as an Outsider (v. 17b)
The Ultimate Goal: Winning Your Brother Back (v. 15)
II. SPEAKING TRUTH IN LOVE
Ephesians 4:25-32 (NLT) – “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you have been a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Instead, let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, resentment, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Paul’s Two-Part Strategy:
1. Anger Itself Isn’t Sin
2. Deal with Anger Quickly
Practical Anger Management:
- Take a timeout when emotions are too high
- Pray first before confronting
- Focus on the issue not attacking the person
- Make time to address it rather than avoiding it
Truth + Love = Growth / Truth – Love = Cruel / Love – Truth = Emotionalism
III. FORGIVENESS IS IN OUR FAMILY DNA
Colossians 3:12-17 (NLT) – “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”
Forgiveness IS:
- A choice, not a feeling
- Releasing the right to punish or get even
- Trusting God to handle justice
- Opening the door to restored relationship
Forgiveness IS NOT:
- Excusing sin or pretending it didn’t happen
- Automatic trust without demonstrated change
- Forgetting (God remembers our sins no more, but He’s omniscient; we’re not)
- Enabling continued harmful behavior
NEXT STEPS: Do you want to connect and learn more about events and ministry opportunities at The Community, learn more about salvation or baptism, share a prayer need or testimony? CLICK HERE